Many people learn early in life that being useful, productive or endlessly available is the safest way to be valued. They grow into adults who feel guilty for resting, uncomfortable with stillness and anxious when they are not achieving something. Over time, productivity becomes a measure of identity, and any moment of slowing down feels like failure. This belief is powerful, but it is not accurate. In therapy, we often explore how self-worth became tied to output. Sometimes it originates from c
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Men were created to be useful, the strength that we have, the way our minds are wired, the way our bodies are built, we are made for usefulness. The problem is this, usefulness is only useful within the context of love. It is a tool by which we love others. When Usefulness becomes the source of our sense of worth, and our means for finding validation that we are a worthy man, then it becomes our god, and we go from being useful to used up. | Daniel Grose
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Men were created to be useful, the strength that we have, the way ou…
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Resources to help your wellbeing | British Red Cross
Resources to help your wellbeing | British Red Cross
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Do you ever feel like your value is tied to being helpful? So many dads, and honestly, so many men, are taught that their value comes from being useful. Solving problems. Fixing things. Providing. But what happens when being “useful” gets in the way of being connected? On this week’s episode of The Good Inside Podcast, I sit down with the incredible Dr. John Delony and we talk about the “utility trap” and how hard (and healing) it can be to step out of fix-it mode and into emotional presence. Jo
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